October or thereabouts.

This is the thinnest I’ve ever been as an adult.
And possibly the saddest.
If you look closely.

I volunteered myself as a model for a photographer in exchange for some pictures. Because goodness knows I needed a break in routine and an injection of happiness

You see….
This was the year of the betrayal
The year of loss
The year of balance sheets, income statements, presentations
and group work.

Smoking kept the darkness at bay.
8-10 cups of coffee carried me through my days
Wine soothed me to sleep
The Blues held me so tight and vowed to never let me go.
Melancholy drowned my aura and kept my shoulders hunched

I searched for beauty in the cracks of my broken heart and
started to find it….bit by bit

It was a tough year.
I still wonder to this day how I graduated.


#I Can’t Breathe

“It’s time for you to get the fuck up off me

Not gradually

But right now

No waiting.

There is no waiting for breath when you can’t breathe

Can’t breathe

When you can’t motherfucking breathe.” – Can’t Wait (For Salih and The Young Demanding Freedom/Breath) by Staceyann Chin